Andy Samberg Shares His Rejected Golden Globes Jokes

Andy Samberg shares some of his rejected Golden Globes Jokes and talks about the return of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

-I don’t think people fully appreciate …to then have the jokes you do for the globes. that you chose not to do -yes, i mean, only because there’s so little time to — you don’t get a lot of time. -but there were a lot of jokes we really loved and i thought, if it was okay with everyone here, we might — i would just bang through a bunch -yeah, all right, great. -okay.

So — so, just imagine that i’m onstage at the globes. the golden globes this year… and only one will leave. are up for the remaining 200. -the international ballroom where the golden globes are held are divided into three tiers of seating — to say that one.

“Roma” was nominated for best director and best foreign film. the biggest phone you can find.

It’s on netflix. i literally sat there and cried for a full five seconds where kurt russell plays santa claus.

“Green book” nominated, which is, of course, a poignant biopic about dr. seuss struggling to finish the title of “green eggs and ham.” -it was originally just called “green book.” “how do i crack this?” it is also a wi-fi password. that’s a john mulaney joke. – yeah. -he wrote it! -as you do. -as one does. spike lee’s third time being nominated for a globe, knicks

Here supporting him. -that’s my favorite one.

-Whoo!

-By the way, you would have done that in l.a. this is actually in new york, and that tanked. -i’m so glad we didn’t do it. -to the time machine! -all right. -“the good place” is nominated. it’s a philosophical afterlife comedy complicated questions, can ted danson still get it? not that complicated — the answer is yes.

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Yeah.

Was adapted from a podcast… would be a good sentence to confuse someone

Is nominated tonight and most people getting boned in front of portraits of ronald reagan. “pose” is nominated for best television series so, if you love drama and you love ryan murphy shows, her second time being nominated in a musical or comedy “marvelous mrs. maisel.” not nominated this year is “mrs. maisel’s” other lead actor, brisket. -there’s a lot there. on the show.

-And i can’t front. it makes me want brisket. -they do. -…and it hits close to home. -their prop master makes that good brisket. there’s more. there are so many more. did a bang-up job, is my point. -they did a bang-up job, yeah. -all right. was bradley cooper wetting himself in “a star is born.” seth wrote that one. i was like, “what?!” if beale street could

Talk, i think it would say, super last minute, you guys. that was the full joke. okay, and this one was a back-and-forth so, will you read her parts? -yeah, yeah, yeah. -okay. -the all-female franchise reboot trend continued this year with the movie “ocean’s 8,” many more on the way. a female reboot of “magic mike,” but with all ladies. that i would watch.

-Jesus christ!

-Hey! the line starts right here, seth! thank you. this has been my audition for “green book.” -oh, that was really good. -yeah, thank you. -that was really good. that was — those were excellent. -there’s one more. -great. -don’t cut any of these when you air this episode. -well, here’s how you’ll know if we cut any. that means there were ones worse than the worst

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One you saw. please cut it down to one joke now. -all right, last one — amazing performances by fine young actors this year — lucas hedges in “boy erased” and “ben is back” to see them all, fear not, ’cause we conveniently smushed them together and made “boy beautiful ben is erased back boy.”

-That’s the way we do it.

-Of course. -they did a great job. -sandra did a great job, as well. because you and sandra were great together, and you really only knew each other from presenting together at the emmys, right? -yeah. no prior relationship other than that one time. -it was so much fun to watch you guys together. found each other at the emmys, because they were lucky to have you.

-I have one last thing to talk to you about, which i’m thrilled — “brooklyn nine-nine” is coming back, and it’s an nbc show now. -coming back. you know, you saved it — the guardians of the nine-nine -there were — yeah. me, guillermo del toro… -yeah. -…lin-manuel, mark hamill… yeah. that’s five — that’s just too much power to be ignored. -too much star power

To not make a show keep going. because i feel as though heartbreaking — heartbroken and they say, “oh, maybe another network will pick it up.” it happens so rarely. -yeah. for you guys to still be doing this for your fans. you know, coming back after a near death of the show, where we’re like, “oh, man, we get to keep hanging out!”

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Transcribed from video
Andy Samberg Shares His Rejected Golden Globes Jokes By Late Night with Seth Meyers