Committed to the 419 Welcomes The Cocoon

The Cocoon just celebrated 17 years and they exist to provide safety, healing and justice for survivors of domestic and sexual violence, their children, and all others affected by these abuses. They also provide educational outreach services throughout the community.

Welcome back to america’s retirement headquarters home of the retirement guys formula and america’s medicare associates with nolan baker and scott kirchner and special guest kathy mull executive director of the cocoon as we bring in our welcome committee to the 419 segment so kathy thanks for joining us and welcome to the show guys i’ll let you take it away it’s

Great to have you here you know obviously we always tried to talk about different companies and organizations that are you know doing great things uh within the community here and you know protecting your family i think is one of the things that has always been important for what we talk about here you know we oftentimes talk about the financial aspect of it we

Talk about the health care talk about planning but you know kathy the executive director over the cocoon you know has an opportunity to see things maybe from a little different light we wanted to share a little bit about that maybe kathy if we started out can you give us a little bit of a background regarding the cocoon yes absolutely and i just want to say thank

You so much for letting me be here today to talk about that um so the cocoon is wood county’s domestic and sexual violence agency i’m really happy to share that we just celebrated 17 years of providing services to survivors right here in the community and our goal is is to provide an opportunity for survivors to get access to the resources and then and the safety

That they need to take care of themselves in their in their family and so we serve survivors of domestic violence we serve survivors of sexual assault sex trafficking stalking and then we also do some work with individuals who are maybe experiencing sexual harassment and also what we call adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and so those are individuals who

Unfortunately experience sexual abuse as a child and now as an adult or in a place where they want to start thinking about the healing process if we look at it you know i think in northwest ohio you know what type of need are we seeing here locally we have continuously over the last several years see the seen the need to support survivors in our community grow um

You know as an example just last year we served 818 survivors of domestic and sexual violence that are right here in our own community um you know with those are our neighbors they’re our friends they’re our co-workers um you know they’re they’re all people that we that we know who are suffering at the hands of an abuser the year before that we serve 747 survivors

And so we’ve definitely seen an increase in need for individuals in our community you know i would think that um over the past 17 years the the definitions have changed drastically in uh domestic violence but bullying um and you know because we have social media now and and you know there’s all kinds of different levels um all of them are very impactful to the

Individual and the opposite end of that how have you seen things change since you’ve been involved in this yeah absolutely that’s an excellent question um you know i was one of the things that i was sharing just this morning is is that you know the last two years we have seen more children entering into services whether they’re entering into services on their own

So we’re seeing more teens being affected by dating violence unfortunately by you know sexual assault sexual harassment and that we have also served more children in our shelter facility in the as a matter of fact last year you know we had 30 children that were residing in our in our shelter facility and so we’ve seen the needs to increase support to children’s

Growing almost exponentially over the last couple of years and i think that that’s coupled with you know the effects of covid over the last few years i think you’re absolutely right you know we’ve seen an increase in bullying that’s happening um and and social media unfortunately is created a great platform you know we talk a lot about you know know we’ve all

Experienced bullying at some point you know we all grew up we all had that experience but you could come home and hopefully come home to a safe haven right so the bullying’s happening at school it’s happening out you know with your kids in the neighborhood you come home and you have a safe haven the children that we work with typically they don’t have that that

They’re not coming home to a place that is that’s safe as it should be and also social media runs 24 7. so you’re not getting away from it and so we’re starting to i think really see the long-term effects of that i know um i was a little i know anybody that knows me today would would say there’s no way but when i was in high school i was tiny i was very very little

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And i remember back in those days bullying was truly def defined as physical bullying you know someone picking on you you know poking you punching you tripping you things like that but i think the definitions have trained changed so drastically today that it’s not confined to just the physical bullying i mean would you not agree oh absolutely um you know we see

That in bullying and we talk about that a lot when we talk about domestic violence i mean the first thing that people tend to think about when they think about domestic violence is physical assault right like that’s the first picture that comes to mind um and really what we know is is that you know the majority of abuse that we see that happens in domestic violence

Situation is emotional it’s verbal it’s financial and and typically those are the things that are going to happen more often um and and much more throughout the relationship than what we actually see is the physical violence that’s occurring yeah you know the mental aspect of things is is so powerful and to understand how the brain and how really works and and

Somebody can just just belittle and i mean domestic violence is you know something that’s really changed as well you know back in the day it wasn’t like it is today but um you know i was told by a police officer a friend of mine that literally throwing a red solo cup and hitting you know your spouse would constitute a level of domestic violence and they could be

Taken away so that’s that’s that’s crazy the way things are today but you want to make sure that you’re helping the people because everybody has a need to make sure like you said going home to that safe haven and having that place at home to um know that you’re going to be safe is very very important are you talking about you know since you’ve been involved in

The organization kind of the changes that you’ve seen over the years and i would completely agree with that you know with social media i mean even with what we do with our facebook page our youtube you know it’s just amazing what some of the people are willing to say on the internet you know behind a keyboard and you know how people act today but flash forward

A little bit more recent you know one of the things that i do is i talk with oftentimes folks about transitioning from their working years into retirement years so you know somebody had got up and they’d gone to work say from nine to five uh every day for their you know five days a week and did that for 30 years now they retire and all of a sudden they’re both

At home both in the same environment you know i’ve seen clients be like well he’s going to hit the volunteer somewhere he’s better get the golf clubs out and go play golf more and you know a lot of the guys like that but if we think about what you know recently happened with covid we we kind of saw that same impact with you know everything was working just fine

And then all of a sudden boom an immediate major shock to the system where we couldn’t go outside you know we were really kind of locked in what you know what did your organization see as the impact from what happened with covet yeah and it’s not uncommon i mean you know as as we were learning more and more about covet in its early stages advocates um you know we

Really started to think about how that was going to impact the work that we’re doing because it’s pretty common that any time that we face any sort of natural disaster or you know something like the pandemic violence rates go up in general and unfortunately what we did as in trying to and i think that you know it was it was well intentioned and trying to curb the

Covid-19 pandemic is that we isolated people into their own homes and so when we talk about domestic violence and the two things that really allow domestic violence to happen in relationships is isolation and control and so we pretty much in a sense took homes where there was already violence occurring and we put people together 24 7 with no ability to be able

To escape and what we’ve seen is is that the incidence of violence in homes have have escalated and the level of violence in homes have escalated and as a matter of fact you know in march of 2020 our domestic violence calls went up 40 in just that first month because there was much more opportunities for that violence and control to happen because you’re right

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Everybody was together 24 7 the kids were home um and so you know that adds another layer of stress in the family um and you know what we also were seeing is is that you know if i was an offender of domestic violence and i was choosing to use violence but i knew that my partner was going to get up and go to work in the morning or i knew that my partner was going

To go out you know to the grocery store or whatever that was i might have been a little bit more careful about leaving physical visible marks or i might have not necessarily felt the need to use a severe violence but when i knew as an offender now all of a sudden nobody’s watching it really has unfortunately increased the violence that we would have been seeing

In our families and we’ve stayed not quite that high but we’ve stayed at a pretty escalated level of need for survivors in our community since then yeah i mean i think just with people i see i think you know society’s kind of changed a little bit since covet and how things work today and you know i guess the two follow-up questions that i have you know to that is

You know if you’re somebody that’s in that type of situation that’s suffering from some type of you know violence or maybe if you think you know somebody is you know what’s the best step somebody should do in that situation whether you know they are a victim or whether they think they might know somebody who’s a victim what about somebody in your life who might

Be experiencing domestic violence to check on them to find whatever ways that you can to reach out and say you know are you okay i’m concerned about you do you need something because it’s creating that opportunity for that person to share about you know violence that they’re experiencing abuse that they’re experiencing and at least know that there’s somebody who

They can go to if they need something and then we really suggest then you know following up with how can i help you and you know what it is it that you need at this particular time that i can help with and then getting them connected to their local resources um so you know whether that’s us at cocoon or whether that’s you know their local their local agency um

But the the more that we can ask the questions try to break that isolation and give somebody a safe person to go to and the more likely we are to however give them the opportunity to start thinking about making some changes yeah you know the one thing we were talking before you came on uh how it’s i would find that a lot of people would be embarrassed by it they

Don’t want people to know you know you’re not going to go to the office and start blabbing around telling everybody this and and you know i’m ashamed that i let it get like this and i don’t know what to do i think that breaking that would allow them to come in and get help and and seek treatment and guidance and even talk to that somebody um do you find that that

Is a big hurdle i mean that’s got to be a huge hurdle yeah absolutely um you know we we just um did an event last night where we were really talking about the impact that what we call victim blaming has on survivors reaching out and asking for help and it was very interesting because it was very similar to this conversation that we were just having is that we like

To think that we’re now sitting in 2022 that the level of victim blaming in um that has has reduced dramatically and the reality is is that it hasn’t um you know we are still stark conversations with saying why didn’t you just leave what did you say to make him angry um you know why did you stay so long you know like all of those kinds of things instead of starting

From a place of i’m concerned about you i you know i wish this wasn’t happening for you how can i help you what can we do about it and so absolutely creating those safe spaces where people can feel like they can disclose what’s happening to them and that the person that they’re sharing that with is going to respond with the care and compassion that they deserve you

Know it’s it’s almost like educating those people um i read a i had a client that gave me a book to help me understand how to deal with um my dad because he was starting to get a little bit of a dimension he didn’t have dementia but he was forgetting things in that and one of the things that this little book did was it it taught me how to talk to him right and you

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Know don’t ask questions that he doesn’t know the answer to so i i have to believe the same thing with you it’s like why did you stay with him well that’s a horrible question to ask a victim right i mean absolutely you need to almost educate the other people out there and i would think that that event that you had you talked a little bit about it that had to be so

Powerful and impactful to resonate with just one person to say oh my gosh that was me that has to be very very satisfying for for you to do the event but helpful for those other people definitely and i know kathy we’re kind of at the end of our show but one of the things that uh you know if people want to get more information about the cocoon i think you know as

We wrap up today’s show maybe talk about ways that people could get in contact with you your organization i know you have another event coming up this sunday if you could highlight that and any other ways that people that are listening today can get involved by using your resources or helping out i’d love to learn more about that yeah yeah definitely we strongly

Encourage that anybody who is experiencing domestic or sexual violence themselves or know somebody who’s experiencing domestic or sexual violence that our 24 7 line is the best way to get connected with us because we have advocates that are available 24 7 who can start the conversation around options around safety planning you know around reducing barriers to you

Know to getting the kind of help that they need and it is that a supportive person on the other end of the line that we’ve been we’ve been talking about and so that phone number is 419-373-1730 and then if you select option two that immediately gets you connected to one of our advocates i would also encourage everybody to check out our website which is just the and it will be down at the bottom of the screen and it has all kinds of information about all the different services that we provide ways you can get involved everything from making financial donations to support our services to volunteering and to you know to learning about all the upcoming events that we have i mean so it’s a great great resource and

I just want to make sure that i say that you know all of the services that we provide to survivors of domestic and sexual violence are provided at absolutely no cost to them and so you know we feel that that’s really important to make sure that survivors have access to the resources that they need but that’s also why the community support is really important to

Us so that we can continue to provide those services whether you need to utilize these services or you want to contribute in a way to volunteer your time or your treasure to to help to make sure that the cocoon can continue to offer these resources to be committed to the 419 to help those out there who who need those services real easy to get in touch with again

That number 419-373-1730 or online the and as we talked about earlier in the show you know if you are of 72 if you are of that required minimum distribution age and you’re feeling charitable and you want to make that have the most impact figure out the way to make sure that uh you know organizations like the cocoon get the most of those donations

That is something the team in america’s retirement headquarters can help you with as part of the tax strategy again uh making sure that the the charities get the most of it and because uncle sam gets less of it so it’s kind of a double double benefit there i reach out to the team at america’s retirement headquarters just go to that website america’s retirement i want to thank you all for joining us this week kathy i want to thank you for taking the time and joining us this week here on retirement headquarters please have a great week please take care of each other out there and as we wrap up guys i want to leave you with the final word yeah great quote kind of in the week which is rise above the storm

And you will find the sunshine have a great week folks we’ll see you next week same time right here on toledo’s largest talk station 1370 wsbd

Transcribed from video
Committed to the 419 Welcomes The Cocoon By America’s Retirement Headquarters