Kid Dropped Out Of College, Should I Pay Their Student Loan?

Fran’s son dropped out of college and is working a part time job at a fast food restaurant while living with her. She asks Dave if she should be helping pay his student loan.

Fran is on the line in harrisburg pennsylvania hi fran welcome to the dave ramsey show hi thank you i have a question a little nervous okay my son is in its early 20s okay he’s 21 anyway he was going to college he didn’t finish that’s just another story but i am on baby step two and i know one of the later steps is like to save money for college but for me it

Kind of seems like it’s after like you know i mean like he’s already grown he’s already an adult do i owe him like you know the money i should have saved no okay or is he like totally responsible for his own college or do i have any responsibility in that what was your deal with him when he went to college and got the student loan did you say i’ll pay it nope

Then he pays it he signed up for it he’s a big boy okay he’s like a grown man okay i want him to go to college i still kinda didn’t go to call quitter he got thrown out or whatever happened right that’s not i mean that wasn’t your decision you didn’t cause it so i don’t know it wasn’t cause you didn’t pay for it that he quit right no not at all okay okay how

Much student loan debt does jr. have about 3,000 4,000 something like that what’s he doing for a living right now he’s working at fast food so he’s living with you what living with you he’s 21 yes so what’s he gonna do with his life that’s an area of contention there yeah okay i think he can do better i’ve told him that you know he’s not really totally sure that

Direction he wants to take yeah i can tell i think he needs a direction and it might be just out of your house okay so that because nothing what i hear is a listless kid that’s adrift that’s kind of hanging out mommy still making him dinner and he’s partying at night and making just enough to pay for the party well not really i am i made him totally responsible

For his own food oh i don’t pay for his food okay any of it okay yeah now last year i gave him a choice either you give me to get a job or like your choice is either go to school full-time work full-time for do half and half there you go like you i mean and i gave him a deadline and he got the job like right at the deadline so he’s got a full-time job in fast

Food yeah i know there’s such a thing it’s it’s a full-time yeah time they don’t need people 25 hours is not full-time okay 40 hours is full-time right i told him that too i told him to ask for more hours and you know he realizes he needs more money he doesn’t want to work in computers somehow but he’s not sure in what way good well that’s good we found something

That he’s excited about and aimed at let’s uh let’s start that because really what’s happening now is not you know the 30-year old version of this kid is still living with you if he doesn’t if he doesn’t change his direction i know see part of it is that i don’t think he wants any more loans because he’s now knows about the plan yeah okay okay and so he’s trying

To save money for his emergency fund yeah are you married no okay are you in a good church yeah okay i want you to grab a couple of 40 year old 30 year old successful business guys men in your church and have them take this kid to lunch okay and boxes ears okay okay because i’m not because what happening you’re doing a really good job of mothering him and he

Needs a guy to bust him yeah it’s like it’s too comfortable yeah like i’m not well here’s the thing here’s the thing okay he’s just kind of he’s just kind of wishy-washy it’s just like i’ll get a job because my mommy made me it sounds like he’s 16 you know and what am i gonna do a mobile operators a week and i’m gonna call that okay and nothing okay about that

So what he needs to be doing is mowing grass or blowing leaves or walking dogs i’m making $20 an hour and working 80 hours a week and pay off the $3,000 and save up the money to go to tech school and get you know get a degree in programming and go to code school and learn how to be a programmer he’s get his little buddies get his little button gear mm-hmm that’s

What he used to do and then the $30,000 isn’t going to come up so i wanted me this kid definitely needs to pay there’s $30,000 it’s gonna be good for his manhood okay and but i’m a lot more worried about getting him on track as a young man and game quit acting like a little boy you following me i’m not being insulting i’m just being very clear i understand that

I’m like i don’t want to kick him out i’m his mom no i don’t want you to kick him out but i want him to have more vision for his life than he has he doesn’t have a vision okay he found his vision is limited he’s he’s thinking about friday that’s why i was accusing her partying a partier yeah okay that’s the lack of these are the lack of his vision is what made

Me say that that’s what made me guess that okay right no he’d rather than a couch and play video games oh okay all right you guys getting those little wire cutters just cut those wires on that thing and you know cut cut those a disconnect that whole thing and just oh okay now we’re back to the real world because mario kart is not is not pasta not a possible

Job so we got to find something else to do and so that’s what’s happening he’s getting sucked into that and it’s shutting his brain down so we want a vision for his life i want him to you know be willing to clean out septic tanks because he can make 50 bucks an hour with a toothbrush okay because that gets him to where he can go to school and be a programmer he

Never has to clean septic tanks with a toothbrush again you pay a price to win when you have a vision for your life okay and that’s that’s what i want that’s what i want for him that’s what you want for him to and that’s why i’m thinking if you can get some guys around him that are successful he might it might rub off on him a little bit and they might actually

Mentor him a little bit and you know love him enough to go dude unplug the gameboy seriously mmm-hmm you know it’s killing you you live in your mother’s house come on be a man let’s go and some of the guys coming around him would love him and just say love him enough to tell him the truth you guys and and he’ll let’s help him get and be because god has something a

Lot more for him than flopping whoppers and playing nintendo and that’s what i want for him and that’s what you want for him and then the $3,000 thing is going to be solved as a natural byproduct of him having a vision for his life again or for the first time ever maybe and sometimes that involves a little bit of bluntness or a lot of bluntness and that’s why i’m

Saying get some guys around you and around him to help him walk this out because sometimes young men don’t hear they hear better from other men sometimes it’s like if you had a dog it’s like if i was talking to a dad who had a daughter and she was i might get some ladies around her it’s not you know just to say this is let’s get you going here kiddo you got let’s

Have a vision for your life wear more clothes do this right you know you can do this and you can win you can be a lady and you can be powerful and you can be confident in the marketplace and you can get stuff done and you need powerful and confident ladies surrounds you to tell you you can do that sometimes and so you know it’s you become who you hang around with

Right kind of a thing so yeah let’s put a couple mentors in his life and ask him to speak into his life they’ll do it they’ll be happy to do it

Transcribed from video
Kid Dropped Out Of College, Should I Pay Their Student Loan? By The Ramsey Show – Highlights