Should I Pay Off My Siblings? – They Keep Asking For Money

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Alyssa is with us in des moines iowa hi alyssa how are you hi dave thank you so much for taking my call sure what’s up okay this is a financial as well as an ethical question my mom passed away four years ago and i am trying to figure out if i should finance it she left me the house a hundred percent but she said right before she passed away she wanted me if i ever

Go to sell the house to give them each fifteen thousand dollars and i am trying to figure out if i should finance that because they would like their money now if i should finance it or if i should just continue trying showed up i’m sorry that wasn’t the deal they don’t get their money now unless you’re selling the house right it’s what your mother said she said

If you ever go to sell the house you should give them fifteen thousand out of the sale right right so why why did they get the idea they should get it if you’re not selling the house because they say it’s not fair well i don’t care what’s fair fair is the thing we have at the county where they sell cotton candy and your mother gave her very distinct wishes to you

She a left you the house and verbally not in writing asked you to honor her last wishes which was to give someone fifteen thousand each out of the sale a house should you ever sell the house correct correct yeah and so it’s not fair they need to take it up with your mom okay does this was her wishes all right it’s kind of to do with that i know one just keep this

Brief but i got divorced four years ago and i had twenty thousand dollars a day i’m down to five i’ve got two part-time jobs they have also through this summer i mean i should be able to save up and also pay them off just keep financial peace correct i mean how long i think i would you try them all because they’re really upset with me they’re not upset with you

They’re upset with your mother this is her deal okay you know that’s true that is very true this is the you know you did not do this they’re the ones changing the deal and you you know your duty-bound to honor your mother’s wishes yes she was worker wishes she did not say you know for you to go borrow money to pay off to buy out your brother and sister right yes

That is true i mean what if we were they involved in the conversation with your mom no they didn’t have anything to do with her for two and a half years before she passed away oh we’ll see there’s always that in there yeah i guess you’re right so now these guys are entitled to her money who they had nothing to do with so your mom was very clear and really she just

At the last minute had a little bit of compassion on these kids who had dissed her well they came around about the last five weeks and that’s when she said that no okay okay all right well you know what i would do is is without this is your full brother and sister half brother sister what full brother and sister okay i would just sit down with them and virgin are

You you’re not married you’re single and you know um just smile and say you know i love you guys this was mom’s directions i’m going to abide by mom’s directions when i sell the house you will get $15,000 if i never sell it you never will okay i just didn’t know with the ethical parts of it and what you saw you thought well listen here here’s the ethics here’s the

Ethics this is not about what they want this is not about what you want the ethics are following your mother’s instructions of what she wanted done with her estate they are completely out of line i’m kind of mad at them right now just listening to this okay misbehaving on a regular basis as these twos pattern you know it but it caused a lot of family turmoil they

Don’t have a lot to do with me anymore so how they didn’t have anything do with your mother i guess that’s a good point too yeah and you know darling if you have to buy a relationship that’s called prostitution no never thought of it that way but yes you’re very that is very true you know and so if the only way you’re going to have anything to do with me is me

Giving you money then we don’t have a relationship i’m just your atm access to money that you think somehow you’re entitled to but you’re not entitled to anything mom had the money mom said what to do with the money so now all of that said if you go make two million dollars and you want to write these two goober check to just but let me just tell you they’re never

Going to be okay they’re never going to be okay because they didn’t get their third of the house because of the way they treated your mother that’s true and so they’re always going to have a chip on their shoulder because this whole deal every time they look at you they are reminded of their misbehavior with their mother and so it’s always going to be tension in

The air unless somebody has a spiritual healing in this process so i think it’s going to be really healthy exercise for you to set reasonable boundaries to these two bullies okay and then if you decide to have mercy later it’s coming from you having strength not you being pushed around because i really sense in this conversation they’re doing a lot of pushing

Around okay am i wrong i know you’re completely right thank you so much i’m kind of using my voice like stern like growly right now to insert insert strength into your backbone are you feeling that i sure am alright and i want you to read a book called boundaries by dr. henry cloud because i definitely do that your brother and sister have in appropriate boundaries

Hold on i’ll have kelley pick up i’ll give you a copy of it because this is exactly what’s going on here thank you for the call folks that illustrates right there why you not only have a will but you also have a reading of the will while you’re alive you tell people you know you have anything to do with me for the last two-and-a-half years so when alyssa sells the

House but not until i’ve asked her to give you fifteen thousand button that happens you have no rights you have no entitlement because you haven’t been here thank you for coming back into my life in the last two weeks before i die but you get this is what you get and you have a reading of the will and if someone’s going to be angry we need to go ahead and handle

That while your life you people get your wills and tell your family what the will says this is not a movie where a will is read in a walnut paneled office by a an attorney and the trophy wife is standing there with a dysfunctional son this is not a movie you cover your estate plan with your family while you’re alive this is the dave ramsey show hey guys thanks for

Watching if you enjoyed this video click the subscribe button to get the latest content and check out these other great clips from the show i want to write a song i want to own my own business i want to make more money those aren’t goals those are wishes my new year’s resolution is to make more money this year to wish you

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Should I Pay Off My Siblings? – They Keep Asking For Money By The Ramsey Show – Highlights